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Writer's pictureYoung Horn

Cube Chronicles: Who Decided New York City Is The Place To Be

I heard a rumor about New York City once.....I was told "if you can make it hear, you can make it anywhere". But what I don't get is when was this deemed as the best place to be. There is literally nothing good about this city. It's disgusting and dirty and filled with homeless people.

I only commute to the city office a few days a week, and you really see it all on the walk from Penn Station to my office. I've seen a homeless man taking a shit on the side walk, I've seen a homeless man smoking crack, I have also seen a homeless man smoking crack while taking a shit on the side walk. Walking around NYC honestly just makes me want to try crack. Kind of a double standard btw, homeless people can basically get away with anything. If I took a shit on the sidewalk, Im handcuffed and spanked by NYPD immediately.


If you’ve ever seen an episode of Hoarders you’ll understand when I say NYC is an explosion of mess, not just of regular ol’ garbage like bottles and take-out boxes, but literally anything and everything, splashed across the sidewalk, the park, and the beach. You can go through a neighborhood like Chelsea and still step on a whole dead cat, a heap of used tampons, and an expired purple cauliflower.


The cost of living in this city is absurd too. Smells like piss, you pay $15 for breakfast, $39.82 for lunch and $75 for dinner, and somehow you have 3 Subway sandwiches for that money. Rent is expensive, $3847 a month to live in a 10x10 closet that has a toilet and a sink that listed by the realtor as shower.


For those who think being the self-proclaimed “capital of the world” equates to advanced public transit systems, you’re awfully wrong. Rush hour trains run at 10 minutes or longer (don’t trust those busted digital signs) intervals and are maybe wiped down with a rag once in a blue moon (when the MTA proudly announces, during a global pandemic, that cleaning surfaces will significantly increase to once every three days, you know deep sanitization has never been a priority). And you deal with assholes like this that are shitty magicians or some kind of weird street performer.

When you argue with a New Yorker, prepare to lose even when you’re right. It’s as if they’re in a cult, and the core commandment is “New York is the greatest place on earth.” Disagree and you are burned at the stake. I’d like to hear them out (you have no choice since they are shouting), but I’ve known so many that have only traveled to three cities their whole lives, all within North America, that it makes them hard to be taken seriously. It's like talking to Kyrie Irving about whether or not the earth is flat.


It goes without saying that you need to be vigilant against street crime in New York but what newbies don’t realize is that in addition, you have to worry about people you work with, do business with, sleep with, and live with. Whether it’s a colleague stealing your ideas, restaurants adding an extra bottle to your tab, landlords screwing you for the security deposit, or one-night-stands booking their Uber home on your phone, life in New York is a never-ending hustle and quite frankly, exhausting. It’s okay to admit you hate New York because trust me, New York hates you right back. NYC got me coming to the city wearing a fucking Batman costume.


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