It's been a while but we are back and the beef between Young Horn and the office Janitor is still raging. Rocky Balboa said it best "Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it."
I have to watch this clip every time I come to the office to mentally prepare myself for the daily battle against the Janitor. I will not let him beat me. Started the day by walking into the bathroom for my morning dump and first vape break, only to see a huge dead cockroach in the middle of the bathroom floor. Let's fast forward an hour to when the janitor finally makes his way to to clean it up and starts spraying pesticides around the office. Trying to make a cup of coffee in the kitchen but this guy is going defcon 3 with his spray gun with no regard to my coffee.
I was fortunate enough to see him bombard the bathroom looking to change full rolls of toilet paper from my desk. This guy kicks open the bathroom door as if he's Edwin Diaz walking out of the bullpen with Timmy Trumpets blasting in the background.
But our office served lentil soup for lunch so theres a good chance this guy gets me before days end.
Now that Ive had enough stress from the office janitor today, let's get into office holiday parties. My company had ours last week and boy there is nothing more entertaining than seeing Charles from accounting after about 6 Sierra Nevada Hazy IPA's slur his words to Trisha from IT as she pushes his hand off her waist. Office holiday parties can be a dangerous and scary environment, you need to go into them with a strategy and usually a team of co workers to ensure no one ends up fired, in a meeting with HR, or with a DM to someone you work with that says "you know I think we would be great together".
Our party was a nice little 5-8 happy hour in the office with ice crispy beers as far as the eye could see, a champagne fountain, and enough bottles of wine that could last a sorority a week. By 6:30 you need to make the executive decision to either....1. leave with your crew and hit a bar without letting the entire office, B. go home (nerd), 4. ride out the rest of the party and hit the bar across the street with everyone from your office thats still at the party. I ended up hitting the bar across the street and thats when you find out who in the office has been secretly hooking up, who has been shoveling some snow up their beak since the party started, and lastly, which two co workers are going to regret hooking up and think no one sees them making out in the corner of the bar.
Although I was well behaved around some of my female co workers, below is a GIF of me the morning after the holiday party and my $110 bar tab after already deleting beers in my office. I will never apologize for partying.
And don't forget this Holiday Season to drink responsible, party hard, and if you decide to fornicate with your co workers, make sure your co workers don't see you get into an Uber together.
