The day has finally come, I am headed to Cleveland, Ohio this week. An All American City. A Big Beautiful City, as Donald J Trump would refer to it as. Some people go to Florence, Italy, some go to the South of France, maybe even venture to Ibiza for some fun in the sun and nothing but vodka sodas and uppers for a vacation. Not YH. I go to Cleveland for business. I walked through JFK airport security with nothing but a designer duffle bag, a backpack, and a DAWG mentality. Browns vs Giants. I will be surrounded by my kind of people. Blue collar. With one thing on my mind, VICTORY *johnny drama voice*.
If you have been fulling my writing long enough you have heard the how I began my Browns fandom. If you don't know that story, I don't really care.
Sometimes in life you have to make tough decisions. Like Lebron when he left Cleveland and went to Miami. Self proclaimed "King James" abandoned his city when they needed him the most. Leaving them in turmoil, looking to the skies for an answer, a silent protector.....a dark knight. That's where I came in.
I venture to Cleveland this weekend, accompanied by my brother, cousin, and family friends, all of which are NY Giants fans. I look forward to drinking their tears, and potentially meeting some female police officer who is off duty and named Sally. Perhaps an iron worker named Tara who has a sleeve tattoo, twice divorced, and packs skoal long cut. A boy can only dream.
I would be lying if I wasn't nervous heading into Sunday's game. I have disavowed Browns QB and notable pervert Deshaun Watson, whose play is almost bad as his off the field actions. Lucky for the Cleveland defense, they face a struggling NYC accountant and a confused and lost Giants offensive unit. Daniel Jones isn't only bad at crunching numbers and pivot tables, but hes even worse at reading defensive coverages.
Browns are still without #1 RB option in Nick Chubb as he is still on the IR to begin the season. Myles Garret also has some pain in both his feet which probably will have Rex Ryan salivating during the Sunday morning pregame show. Similiar to the gambling records of Cube Monkey Sports this is me going head to head against Dusty Dimes, aka Young David. A delusional Giants fan whose fandom is almost as bad as his gambling picks, currently 6-17-2 on the season *wet fart*.
I will not only be hammering the Browns -6.5 but will also be hammering the under 38.5. In the words of Uncle Tim......"it's FREE".
Please no one be mean to if the Browns lose, I have a 6am flight home Monday morning and have to go right to work, because I am no liberal.
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