“Torture, Unmitigated Garbage, and a Dog With a Cape”: Mike Francesa’s Now-Legendary Superman Movie Review

In a week where Superman soared into theaters with a $125 million opening and sparked buzz for reshaping the DC cinematic universe, it wasn’t a Hollywood critic or a Marvel rival who stole the conversation—it was Mike Francesa, the famously gruff New York sports radio legend. Known for fiery monologues about Yankees bullpens and Giants quarterbacks, Francesa turned his sharp tongue toward an unlikely target: James Gunn’s reboot of the Man of Steel.

His verdict? Pure cinematic hellfire.

“Torture. Just torture.”“I wouldn’t sit through that thing again for anything less than a fortune.”“A dog with a cape? I’m out.”

The viral clip, posted by the popular sports media account @BackAftaThis, has been watched, reshared, and meme’d relentlessly since July 14. Within hours, the phrase “dog with a cape” was trending—and James Gunn himself was tagged in waves of reposts from fans and critics alike.

🎧 The Rant Heard Round the World

Mike Francesa’s takedown, delivered on his podcast The Mike Francesa Show, plays like a one-man war on modern cinema. In a 10+ minute rant, he laid into nearly every aspect of Gunn’s Superman:

• “If my name was on that movie, I’d hide it.”

• “I was thinking of inflicting pain on myself to stay awake.”

• “There’s a Superdog, I kid you not. And it gets beaten up too.”

• “They took one of the most iconic characters ever and made him look like a punching bag for two hours.”

He accused the film of lacking joy, dragging endlessly, and relying on “modern fluff” and “woke subplots”—though he never fully explains what he means by that. It’s classic Francesa: passionate, exaggerated, and occasionally incoherent—but always entertaining.

For longtime listeners, this is peak Mike. For everyone else, it’s a glimpse into why he's both revered and parodied in sports media circles.

🎥 Wait—Is Superman Actually Bad?

Here’s where it gets interesting. While Francesa’s review was all flamethrower, most critics and audiences haven’t reacted with nearly as much vitriol.

• Rotten Tomatoes: 83% critic score

• Metacritic: 76

• Audience CinemaScore: A−

• Box office: $125M opening weekend, one of DC’s strongest in years

Critics from The Times and Business Insider praised James Gunn’s vision as “earnest, refreshing, and filled with heart.” The film has also been applauded for balancing nostalgia with modern themes and introducing a Superman who feels grounded and emotionally complex.

So why the disconnect?

🎤 Why Francesa’s Review Resonated Anyway

Francesa isn’t a film critic. He’s a New Yorker in his mid-60s who built a legendary career shouting about baseball lineups and coaching disasters. That’s why his Superman review feels more like a gut-check for casual moviegoers—people who aren’t invested in cinematic universes but still want to be entertained.

1. He Says What Some Think (Loudly)

Even if people liked the movie, they can’t help but laugh at a guy this fed up over a caped dog and moody plotlines. Francesa’s language is theatrical, yes—but it hits a nerve with viewers who may be secretly exhausted by superhero fatigue.

2. It’s Refreshing Amid Studio PR

In an age where actors and directors tiptoe around reviews and reception, Francesa’s raw honesty—“I’d rather fall asleep than finish it”—feels almost punk rock. He has no stake in the movie world. That gives his opinion an oddly credible charm.

3. It’s Just Really Funny

Let’s be honest: a sports radio host losing his mind over a comic book movie is just objectively hilarious. Especially when his biggest takeaway is confusion over “why the dog got beat up too.”

🦸‍♂️ The James Gunn Era Faces Its First Viral Storm

For Gunn, this is likely just noise. The director, who’s helming DC’s cinematic reset with Superman as the flagship, knew he was up against diehard Snyder fans, superhero burnout, and pop culture scrutiny. Francesa’s outburst is just another spark in the discourse fire—and probably won’t hurt the movie’s momentum at all.

In fact, this may end up helping.

The Francesa clip is doing what no trailer, press tour, or CinemaCon sizzle reel could: it's turning the Superman reboot into a cultural moment people are actively talking about—whether they’ve seen the movie or not.

🧭 Final Take: Francesa vs. Superman Is the Crossover We Didn’t Know We Needed

In a week of billion-dollar studio marketing and algorithm-optimized trailers, the most talked-about reaction came from a retired sports host sitting behind a mic, completely bewildered by a dog in a cape. It’s poetic.

So whether you loved Superman, hated it, or haven’t seen it yet, take a moment to enjoy this rare moment of internet gold—a man who’s spent his life breaking down batting orders taking on the last son of Krypton with the fury of a thousand hot dogs from Yankee Stadium.

Francesa may not have liked the movie, but his review?

Now that’s cinema. And heres da mink man!