Michael Rubin's White Party Is Starting to Feel... Weird

Michael Rubin threw his annual White Party in the Hamptons this week, and I think I've officially reached the point where I have to ask: is this guy just kind of weird?

Now before anyone jumps in the comments, let me get this out of the way. It's incredibly easy in today's world to be the cynical hater on the internet who takes shots at people with more money, more success, and a better guest list than they'll ever have. That's not what this is. I'm not bitter that my invitation got lost in the mail. I'm just a blue-collar guy giving my opinion to the internet—an opinion that absolutely nobody asked for.

But man... this whole event has reached a level of bizarre that I can't ignore anymore.

Every year it somehow gets bigger. Every celebrity, athlete, influencer, musician, actor, and billionaire somehow ends up wearing the exact same white outfit in the Hamptons for one giant networking session disguised as a party. At this point it feels less like an Independence Day celebration and more like an annual convention for people who are too famous to say no. Maybe it's just me, but it gives off some strange vibes. After everything we've seen over the last couple of years involving celebrity mega-parties, it's impossible not to look at these events a little differently.

That said, I have to give credit where it's due. Tobey Maguire pulling Ice Spice might have been the most shocking headline to come out of the entire night. If true, congratulations to Spider-Man. That's veteran presence right there.

The funniest part of the entire week, though, wasn't even the party itself. It was Michael Rubin explaining that he didn't want people to have to choose between his White Party and the rumored wedding of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. Rubin later clarified that the wedding wasn't the reason he scheduled the party when he did, but admitted he was aware of the date and wanted to avoid forcing guests to choose between the two events.

Buddy... let's be honest for a second.

If those two events landed on the same night, I think most people would've figured out where they were going pretty quickly. One is an annual celebrity party. The other is arguably the biggest celebrity wedding of this generation. I don't think there was ever much of a decision to make.

Again, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the White Party really is the hottest ticket in America every summer. But from the outside looking in, the entire spectacle feels a little stranger every year. Maybe that's just what happens when celebrities spend enough time hanging out with other celebrities.

I'll stay home, fire up the grill, and watch the internet break down everyone's outfits instead. Spoiler alert everyone wears white, and Nike Air Force 1's.