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Writer's pictureDr. Data

Met Fans......We deserve this


December 23rd 2015, the the New York Mets were looking for a big free agent splash to bolster their outfield of Curtis Granderson and Micheal Conforto. GM Sandy Alderson was making calls and tying to shake down the poor, withered ownership tree known as the Wilpons for cash to attract any interested party's and ohh boy did they land their guy. The Mets landed the legend, the one and only...........Alejandro D'Aza. Mets fans were jubilant, like myself. Sadly, this is what ownership did to us ever since 86. The Wilpons cried poor, then spent a little bit on an average guy. They knew they had Mets fans hooked on the one thing more addictive than coke, more addictive than H, more addictive than the bread sticks at Olive Garden....this little drug called hope. This hope was a spell on fans thinking this year was going to be better than last year...and it never was. The Wilpons knew how loyal Met fans are to their core. They never cared about winning. The fans are true to the orange and blue no matter what.

The constant nickel and diming was dwarfed by the constant PR humiliation...lets list my favorites in no particular order shall we:


1 Mike Piazza holding a press conference to confirm he is not gay

2 Yoenis Cespedes attacked by a wild boar on his ranch and broke his ankle

3 Brett Saberhagan shoots a supersoaker loaded with bleach at fans

4 2007 Collapse

5 The Wilpons investing with their friend Bernie Madoff

6 Kaz Matsui getting Anal Fissures

7 Bobby Bonilla

8 Trading Tom Seaver twice

9 Doc Gooden missing the 86 parade in a crack house

10 Playing a crying Wilmer Flores after he got "traded"

11 Bobby Ojeda cuts off his finger in a freak gardening accident

12 Kevin Mitchell decapitates a cat

13 Jason Bay


I can go on and on because there is honestly hundreds of story's like the above but you know what, its all worth it. Met fans have been through some shit, and because of it we are mentally tough and honestly can handle any tough situation life throws our way. Our perseverance and loyalty was rewarded last winter in the form of a beautiful, bald headed angel from Great Neck Long Island....his name is Steve Cohen.

I woke up this morning at my usual 6:15am time to get ready for work, nbd. Once I turned my alarm off, I quickly went through my home screen to see what I missed....20% off Mugsy Jeans, Car payment has been processed, Peloton (humble brag) updating terms and conditions, Carlos Correa signing a 12 year $315M contract with the Mets, Student loan Upda.....TIME THE FUCK OUT, WHAT NOW. No joke, this is truly the most shocking/positive news any Met fan has experienced. Never in my wildest dreams think the sorry, dumb loser NY Franchise can swoop in and steal Carlos Correa away from another team after he agreed to contract. This move has changed baseball. This move makes owners who don't spend look pathetic, and rightfully so. Steve Cohen, one of the richest humans on the planet, just so happens to be a diehard Mets fan. He will do whatever it takes to win. Met Fans deserve Steve Cohen. Met fans deserve an owner that is willing to invest in the team. Baseball needs Steve Cohen. Steve Cohen is my savior. LFGM



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