The long awaited return to office post pandemic has arrived and boy is it brutallllllll. I dont even have the few friends I like here with me because we're doing "flex schedules" to "stop the spread". Showed up 15 minutes early (because I'm a loser) to secure a nice corner seat and try and hide, fire off a few blogs, and stare at the clock until it hits 5pm.
My prime seating location was quickly ruined when my manager took the desk next to me.....what happened to stopping the spread? Fuck off Jim Lumbergh (shout out Office Space). Asking me if I can update my Sales pipeline and when I expect to finish the mandatory product trainings. "Where do you think youre going to finish this quarter? Why did you put in so much PTO the week after Christmas" this is not the kind of shit I missed in the office. If were going to have awkward small talk, asked me if I watched the game last night or kissed any pretty girls lately. SMH
Only thing I can think about now is taking an hour and a half lunch, crushing some ice crispy beers, treating myself to a fat rueben sandwich, or maybe some NYC street hot dogs or if I'm feeling spicyyyyy a street gyro (white sauce/hot sauce...extra hot sauce). Only to come back with a nice buzz, try and find a conference room to hide in and illegally stream some soccer on my work computer until 5pm. Just happy I don't have to wear a tie. Now....onto the beers!
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