NFL Week 2 Recap: The 1 PM Slate Was a Weather-Delayed Mess, the Browns Somehow Won, and Week 2 Made No Sense

Week 2 of the NFL season is basically complete, minus Giants-Rams tonight, and I am not sure there has been a weirder Sunday so far this year. The 1 p.m. slate was kind of dog shit if we are being honest. A bunch of low-scoring games, multiple offenses that looked completely broken, sloppy football everywhere, rain affecting games in Chicago and New York, and then Cleveland-Tampa got hit with a ridiculous 132-minute lightning delay with less than two minutes left. The afternoon slate was better, Kansas City and Indianapolis gave us an overtime game at night, and Thursday gave us Josh Allen reminding everyone that Buffalo is still a problem.

The funniest part of the entire weekend for me, though, is obviously Cleveland. After I spent all of Week 1 talking about how terrible Deshaun Watson looked and wondering if the football gods had literally removed his athletic ability, the Browns somehow went into Tampa and beat Baker Mayfield, who is still one of my favorite quarterbacks in the league and probably always will be because of what he meant to Cleveland. I genuinely did not see that one coming.

Bills 41, Lions 31: Josh Allen Opened the New Stadium Like a Maniac

Week 2 started Thursday with Buffalo opening its new Highmark Stadium, and Josh Allen basically decided the night belonged to him. Buffalo jumped out 21-0, scored touchdowns on its first four possessions and never really let Detroit fully recover. Allen finished 20-of-31 for 248 yards and three touchdowns while adding 69 rushing yards and two more scores. Five touchdowns by himself. Normal Josh Allen stuff.

Detroit actually got a really good game from Jared Goff, who threw for 327 yards and four touchdowns without an interception. Amon-Ra St. Brown had nine catches for 142 yards and two scores, but the Lions defense simply could not get Buffalo off the field. The Bills finished with 446 yards, 203 on the ground, 34 first downs and scored on almost every meaningful possession. Detroit is still dangerous offensively, but allowing Tyler Shough to throw for 411 yards in Week 1 and then giving Allen this kind of night four days later is not exactly encouraging.

Panthers 34, Falcons 3: Atlanta Was Completely Embarrassed

This might have been the most embarrassing result of the early window.

Carolina gave up 59 points in Week 1 and responded by going into Atlanta and beating the Falcons 34-3. Bryce Young was excellent, completing 23-of-36 for 287 yards and three touchdowns. Darren Waller caught two touchdowns, Tetairoa McMillan topped 100 receiving yards, and the Panthers never turned the ball over.

Atlanta turned it over five times.

That is basically the entire game.

Cooper Rush threw two interceptions, Jack Strand came in and threw another, and Devin Lloyd had one of the best defensive games anyone will have all season. He finished with nine tackles, a sack, three passes defended, two tackles for loss and two interceptions, including a pick-six. After getting humiliated by Chicago, Carolina's defense apparently spent the week taking it personally. Atlanta is now 0-2 and looks completely lost offensively.

Vikings 9, Bears 3: This Game Was Exactly as Fun as the Score Looks

There is no nice way to say this.

Vikings-Bears was terrible.

The rain and wind at Soldier Field played a major role, and both offenses looked like they were trying to play football underwater. Minnesota won 9-3 without scoring a touchdown. Chicago scored 59 points in Week 1 and then followed it up with three. That 56-point drop is the second-largest scoring decline from Week 1 to Week 2 in NFL history.

Carson Wentz did exactly what Minnesota needed him to do while Kyler Murray remained out with a concussion. He threw for only 143 yards, but he did not turn the ball over. Aaron Jones ran for 105 yards and Minnesota's defense handled everything else. Caleb Williams finished 15-of-26 for 138 yards and an interception before leaving with a hamstring injury, which is obviously the much bigger concern for Chicago going forward. Minnesota is somehow 2-0 after trailing Green Bay by 12 last week and winning this week's game without reaching the end zone.

Patriots 20, Steelers 3: Aaron Rodgers Looked 42

Remember last week when Pittsburgh won and everyone convinced themselves Aaron Rodgers might have one more season in him?

Yeah.

About that.

New England completely destroyed Pittsburgh's offense. Rodgers went 23-of-39 for 187

yards, no touchdowns and an interception while taking four sacks. The Steelers produced only 235 total yards and converted two of 12 third downs. Christian Barmore forced a Rodgers fumble that Elijah Ponder returned for a touchdown, and that basically ended whatever tiny amount of hope Pittsburgh still had.

Drake Maye was not amazing either, throwing for 208 yards with an interception, but New England generated explosive plays. Romeo Doubs finally did something after his zero-catch opener, finishing with 96 yards and a 63-yard reception, while TreVeyon Henderson ran for a 39-yard touchdown. Pittsburgh's offense looks painfully slow, and Rodgers looked exactly like a quarterback who is 42 years old behind an offensive line that could not protect him.

Bengals 20, Texans 6: Cincinnati Might Actually Have a Defense Now

This is one of the more interesting developments through two weeks.

Cincinnati's defense might actually be good.

The Bengals held Houston to six points and did not allow a touchdown. C.J. Stroud threw for 353 yards because Houston threw the ball 55 times, but most of those yards meant nothing. The Texans reached the red zone four times and came away with only three total points on those possessions. Cincinnati also generated 27 pressures and completely erased Houston's running game.

Joe Burrow did not need to do much. He finished with 207 yards and two touchdowns, both to Ja'Marr Chase. Chase had seven catches for 75 yards, Tee Higgins added 95, and Cincinnati improved to 2-0 without its offense even looking fully comfortable yet.

That should scare the AFC.

For years the formula against Cincinnati was basically survive Burrow and wait for the defense to give something back. If the Bengals are going to hold teams to six points, they are going to be a massive problem.

Saints 24, Ravens 17: Tyler Shough Is Starting to Look Legit

Baltimore looked terrifying in Week 1.

Then the Saints walked into Baltimore and beat them.

The Ravens led 14-3 and looked like they were heading toward another comfortable win before New Orleans completely flipped the second half. Tyler Shough finished 27-of-34 for 252 yards, one touchdown and no interceptions, then scored the winning touchdown himself on a fourth-and-goal quarterback sneak with 1:28 remaining. (neworleanssaints.com)

Chris Olave continues to look like Shough's security blanket. He caught eight passes for 86 yards and scored the touchdown that tied the game at 17 in the fourth quarter. Baltimore still had a chance to answer, but Lamar Jackson threw an interception in Saints territory with 20 seconds left.

Lamar finished with 235 yards, one touchdown and one interception, while Derrick Henry ran for 68 yards and a score. Baltimore was up 14-6 at halftime and got outscored 18-3 after the break.

Not great.

New Orleans, meanwhile, might be more interesting than anyone thought.

Packers 20, Jets 17 OT: The Jets Remembered They Are the Jets

This was another absolutely hideous 1 p.m. football game.

Rain and mist covered MetLife Stadium, Green Bay and New York combined for 27 accepted penalties for 289 yards, and the two teams combined for eight fumbles. Somehow only one of those fumbles was actually lost.

The Jets led 17-7 in the fourth quarter.

They lost.

Of course they did.

Jordan Love had only 145 passing yards, Green Bay converted one of nine third downs and committed 14 penalties, yet the Packers still found a way to win. Love hit Christian Watson for a touchdown to cut the deficit, Trey Smack tied it with a field goal, and then Green Bay's defense sacked Geno Smith twice on New York's first overtime possession.

The Packers drove into range and Smack hit a 26-yard field goal to win it.

The Jets were actually the better team for most of the afternoon. Geno threw for 247 yards and did not turn it over. New York led by 10 in the fourth quarter. Then they stopped functioning.

The more things change.

Eagles 24, Titans 20: Philadelphia Is 2-0 and Has Made Both Wins Way Harder Than Necessary

Philadelphia keeps winning games without looking especially convincing.

Jalen Hurts threw two interceptions Sunday and spent large portions of the game getting harassed by Tennessee's defensive front. The Titans took a 20-17 lead with two minutes remaining, and it looked like Philadelphia might finally run out of ways to escape.

Then Hurts went to work.

He drove the Eagles 65 yards in nine plays, hit DeVonta Smith for 19 yards to reach the goal line and then found Darius Cooper for a three-yard touchdown with 14 seconds remaining. Philadelphia won 24-20.

Hurts finished 26-of-37 for 264 yards, two touchdowns and two picks. DeVonta Smith caught 10 passes for 117 yards and a score. Cam Ward only attempted 20 passes for Tennessee but finished with 183 yards and also scored a rushing touchdown.

One thing worth mentioning is the heat. The Eagles reported turf temperatures above 150 degrees at points during the game. So while Chicago and New York were dealing with rain, Nashville apparently decided to become the surface of the sun.

Philadelphia is 2-0.

They have also nearly blown both games.

Take that however you want.

Browns 23, Buccaneers 19: I Have No Idea What Team I Just Watched

And now we get to Cleveland.

After Week 1, I basically wanted Deshaun Watson launched into the sun.

Seven days later, he somehow played one of his best games as a Brown.

I genuinely do not understand this football team.

Cleveland beat Tampa Bay 23-19 after trailing 16-6 in the third quarter. Watson finished 24-

of-30 for 238 yards, two touchdowns and no interceptions. According to Next Gen Stats, his +0.25 EPA per dropback was his best mark as a Brown and his highest in any game since 2020.

That does not mean I am suddenly declaring Watson fixed.

Absolutely not.

The first half still looked like the same ugly Browns offense. Cleveland failed to score a touchdown on its first eight possessions. The running game was nonexistent, with Quinshon Judkins finishing with 21 yards on 12 carries. Tampa led 9-6 at halftime and extended it to 16-6 when Baker Mayfield hit Emeka Egbuka for a touchdown.

Then something happened.

Watson started playing quarterback.

Rookie Denzel Boston caught a short pass over the middle, bounced through multiple tackles and turned it into a 55-yard touchdown to tie the game 16-16. Boston now has a 45-plus-yard touchdown catch in each of his first two NFL games, which is pretty damn impressive.

Tampa kicked another field goal to go back ahead 19-16, and this is where I expected the Browns offense to completely disappear.

Instead, Watson led a 12-play, 68-yard drive.

He converted a broken third-and-1 by finding Harold Fannin Jr. for six yards and eventually hit Blake Whiteheart for a 17-yard touchdown with 3:51 left.

Browns lead.

I honestly did not know what to do with myself.

Then Baker got the ball back.

This was the weird emotional part for me because I still love Baker Mayfield. I understand

why Cleveland moved on at the time, I understand everything that happened afterward, but Baker was the quarterback who finally made Browns football fun again. He won us a playoff game. He helped end that miserable playoff drought. I will always root for him when he is not playing Cleveland.

But yesterday?

Sorry Baker.

The Browns needed this one.

Mayfield drove Tampa into Cleveland territory, and then with the Buccaneers sitting at the Browns' 28 at the two-minute warning, lightning hit.

And everyone waited.

For 132 minutes.

Two hours and twelve minutes.

By the time they came back, the stadium was mostly empty and heavy rain was falling.

Tampa still moved the ball inside the 20. Baker had a chance to win it. A pass went through Ted Hurst's hands in the end zone, an offensive holding penalty pushed Tampa backward and then Mayfield's fourth-down throw toward Egbuka fell incomplete.

Ballgame.

Browns win.

Cleveland's defense deserves enormous credit. Baker finished 21-of-34 for 182 yards, one touchdown and an interception. Myles Harden picked him off in the first quarter, Cleveland sacked him three times and Tampa had to settle for four Chase McLaughlin field goals.

That was the difference.

The Browns defense kept the team alive long enough for the offense to finally wake up.

Now here is where I am trying not to overreact.

Watson looked terrible in Week 1.

He looked like a competent NFL quarterback in Week 2.

I need to see it again.

I am not forgetting everything that has happened because of one good half against Tampa.

But I also cannot pretend he did not play well. He was accurate, he converted big downs and he led the touchdown drive when Cleveland absolutely needed one.

So congratulations, Deshaun.

You bought yourself another week.

The Browns are 1-1.

I genuinely cannot believe I am typing that after what we watched against Jacksonville.

Broncos 20, Jaguars 13: Denver Finally Looked Like the Team We Expected

Jacksonville controlled a lot of this game early, but Denver's defense completely changed things in the second half.

Trevor Lawrence was moving the ball well until Riley Moss intercepted him in the fourth quarter. From there, Denver started attacking, Bo Nix led a 64-yard touchdown drive and the Broncos eventually pulled away 20-13. Jacksonville faced pressure on roughly 45 percent of its dropbacks, and once Denver started getting home, the Jaguars never really adjusted.

Jaylen Waddle also had the breakout Denver was waiting for after acquiring him. He repeatedly stretched the Jacksonville defense and helped open the offense for Nix.

The Broncos needed this badly after looking terrible in Week 1.

They are 1-1 now.

Jacksonville is also 1-1.

And suddenly the Jaguars team that destroyed Cleveland looks a little more human.

Raiders 26, Chargers 14: Is Las Vegas Actually Good?

I made fun of Las Vegas plenty this offseason.

I might have to stop.

The Raiders are 2-0.

Kirk Cousins has thrown three touchdowns in consecutive games, becoming only the second Raiders quarterback to do that in the first two games of a season, joining Ken Stabler in 1976.

Cousins hit Tre Tucker for a 40-yard touchdown and later found Cody White for two more scores. The Raiders defense forced turnovers and took advantage of another mediocre Chargers performance.

Los Angeles actually led 14-10 in the third quarter after Justin Herbert found Oronde Gadsden for a touchdown.

They never scored again.

The Raiders scored the final 16 points and won 26-14.

So now the Chargers are 0-2 after losing to Arizona and Las Vegas at home.

Justin Herbert still has Madison Beer.

But football-wise?

Not ideal.

Seahawks 31, Cardinals 7: Drew Lock Might Actually Be Doing This

Seattle lost Sam Darnold in Week 1.

Drew Lock came in and beat New England.

Then Lock started Week 2 and destroyed Arizona.

He threw for 235 yards and three touchdowns, all three to Jaxon Smith-Njigba. JSN finished with nine catches for 155 yards and three scores, including an 82-yard touchdown basically right after the game started.

Seattle's defense was even more impressive.

Arizona finished with 151 total yards.

Jacoby Brissett threw for 95.

The Cardinals basically had one legitimate drive all afternoon.

Seattle has now won 12 straight games including last postseason and 10 straight against Arizona.

The defending champions are 2-0.

Drew Lock is winning football games.

Everything is normal.

49ers 35, Dolphins 13: San Francisco Looks Scary Again

San Francisco is 2-0 and both wins have been beatdowns.

The 49ers scored touchdowns on five consecutive possessions against Miami and built a 35-6 lead through three quarters. Brock Purdy was nearly perfect, completing 20-of-22 passes for 287 yards and two touchdowns while adding a rushing touchdown. (49ers.com)

Purdy also completed every one of his 10 throws that traveled at least 10 yards downfield.

That is absurd.

George Kittle looked healthy again, Christian McCaffrey scored, and Miami simply could not keep pace.

The Dolphins actually moved the ball reasonably well in the first half but kept settling for field-goal attempts. By the second half, San Francisco had completely taken control.

Miami is 0-2.

San Francisco is 2-0.

And the NFC West suddenly looks like Seattle and San Francisco might be setting up one

hell of a race.

Cowboys 37, Commanders 20: Dak Prescott Reminded Everyone He Can Still Cook

This was the Dallas offense I expected entering the year.

Dak Prescott completed 26-of-31 passes for 279 yards and four touchdowns, while CeeDee Lamb went for 153 yards and two scores. Prescott also passed Tony Romo to become the Cowboys' franchise leader in career touchdown passes with 249.

Dallas scored on seven of eight possessions.

That is domination.

The unfortunate story for Washington is Jayden Daniels.

Daniels dislocated his left elbow on the final play of the first half. It is the same elbow he injured last season, when he missed three games before later aggravating it again. Marcus

Mariota replaced him, but Washington could not keep pace with Dak.

Dallas is 1-1.

Washington is 0-2.

And if Daniels misses significant time, Washington's season suddenly becomes much more complicated.

Chiefs 33, Colts 30 OT: Patrick Mahomes Looks Like Patrick Mahomes Again

Sunday night finally gave us the game the 1 p.m. slate forgot to provide.

Kansas City and Indianapolis went to overtime, and the Chiefs won 33-30 on Harrison

Butker's 40-yard field goal as time expired.

Patrick Mahomes looked fantastic.

He finished 32-of-47 for 382 yards and three touchdowns. Travis Kelce caught nine passes for 101 yards and a touchdown, while Kenneth Walker III added 117 rushing yards. It was the first time since 2023 that Mahomes threw for more than 300 yards in the same game Kelce topped 100 receiving yards.

Indianapolis deserves credit because it would not go away.

Jonathan Taylor ran for 92 yards and two touchdowns, and the Colts managed to force overtime despite being outgained 523-329.

The weirdest part came in overtime when Laquon Treadwell made a 48-yard catch, appeared to fumble, Kansas City recovered and everyone thought the game was over.

Replay showed Treadwell had been touched down before losing the football, giving

Indianapolis life again.

The Colts eventually tied the game with a field goal.

Mahomes got the ball back.

You already know how that story usually ends.

Butker wins it.

Chiefs 2-0.

Colts 0-2.

And Kansas City looks a lot more like Kansas City than it did at any point last season.

Week 2 Was Ugly, Weird and Exactly Why the NFL Makes No Sense

The biggest takeaway from Week 2 is that Week 1 lied to us about basically everything.

Chicago scored 59 points last week.

They scored three this week.

Baltimore scored 41 and looked unstoppable.

They lost at home to New Orleans.

Carolina gave up 59.

Then they allowed three.

The Browns looked like one of the worst teams in football.

Then they went into Tampa and won.

Green Bay blew a massive lead in Week 1.

Then came back from 10 down in the fourth quarter to win in overtime this week.

The Raiders are 2-0.

The Chargers are 0-2.

The Texans are 0-2.

Tampa is 0-2.

Seattle is still rolling with Drew Lock.

The Chiefs look alive again.

And we still have Giants-Rams tonight.

The early window was not aesthetically pleasing football. Between the rain, wind, penalties, turnovers and the Browns-Bucs weather delay, there were stretches where watching

RedZone felt like somebody had accidentally switched the channel to Big Ten football from 2007.

But that is also why the NFL is so good.

We spend an entire week deciding exactly what every team is based on one game.

Then Sunday arrives and makes all of us look stupid.

As for Cleveland, I have no idea what happens next.

Deshaun Watson bought himself another start.

Denzel Boston looks like a legitimate weapon.

The defense looked like the unit I expected coming into the year.

And somehow the Browns are 1-1 after being down 31-0 in Jacksonville eight days ago.

I do not trust them.

I do not understand them.

But I will absolutely be back next Sunday convincing myself they can win again.

Browns football.