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Writer's pictureYoung Horn

Microsoft Totally Swindled My Ass

Some people would describe me as "dramatic" or as a "cry baby" or "annoying"- @JaredGoff. I preface these descriptions of me because I am about to rant about how @Microsoft, @BestBuy, and @TheGovernment totally just fleeced my ass. Let me set the stage.


The work week was winding down, my company is off tomorrow (shout out mental health days) and I was looking forward closing the laptop for 3 days, cracking a few Miller Lites, and downloading the new Hogwarts Legacy Xbox game. Some would think a very simple task, the only thing that was holding me back was the time it took for the game to download. WRONG! Turns out Microsoft had this scheme to try and out me as a Broke Boi, because if you don't have Xbox Series X you cant play this game until the middle of April. So I wasn't going to let them inform the world I am #poor because I can't play Harry Potter for two more months. And yes, I bought the deluxe edition and splurged the extra $10, fuck with me.

I did what any other mature 29 year old male who lives in his mother's basement would do, I rushed to Best Buy to buy the newest Xbox. I arrive and am quickly greeted by an elderly gentleman, who informed me they are out of the console but he was willing to check the back. He returns with the console in hand, only to let me know they only have the Xbox bundle pack that comes with some Forza racing game. Told him I don't give a fuck and to take my card, run it, and keep it moving. He proceeds to try an be a comedian and say one lines like "I wish I could give you my sons, he's always playing that damn thing" and "I am not a controller game, but I do enjoy the recent VR systems". SWIPE THE DAMN CREDIT CARD OLD MAN. This transaction took 14 minutes longer than needed to. I don't want to talk about your son, I did not want to sign up for a Best Buy credit card, and I did not come to Best Buy at 6:08pm on a Thursday night to buy a Nintendo Switch.


Needless to say, I have returned home and I am writing this as I wait for my game to download. Have since calmed down and may have a few glasses of red wine while I became the newest bad boi of the Slytherin house of Hogwarts. Please follow me on @Twitch as I try to rebrand as a video game streamer username @YoungHorn69.


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