I try not to spend much time on social media for a number of reasons but while I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, I came across an interesting post.
The post was a clip of actress and producer, Tia Mowry, discussing her marriage. In the clip, she explains why her marriage was a success, despite recently filing for divorce.
Tia talks about how she looks at marriage like a curriculum where you’re learning, you’re growing, you’re evolving and creating. She speaks about creating beautiful, amazing children with her ex husband. At the end of the curriculum there’s a graduation & a celebration.
She goes on to explain that people judge a marriage’s success based on its longevity, when in reality, success should be whether or not they’re happy.
I took a second to think about what she said and I agree. Just because you’ve been with someone for a “long” time doesn’t make a marriage or relationship successful. What makes it successful is how often are all parties involved happy. Now no one will be happy 24/7, but you should spend most of your time happy with the person you chose. The kids should share some sense of joy from your union as well.
I’d rather have a happy, productive, learning, growing, evolving “shorter” marriage than a long anger-filled union. You can keep that!
Maybe the relationship didn’t last, but maybe you did create other things that will last! Read that again.
My advice is to try your best to fight for your marriage. Try your best to weather the storms that will be sure to come, but if you find yourselves miserable…pull the plug. Cut the cord. That’s all folks.
Often times people stay in relationships “for the kids”. I can understand this thinking. Especially when the kid(s) are very young. What I will say is, a lot of times people overlook the fact that kids need peace. Read that again. Read that out loud, actually. Thank you.
A kid might strive more with a positive co-parenting situation versus a toxic house with both parents.
Every marriage is different. And like anything, marriage is what you make it. I just know life is too short to be miserable all the time.
But what do I know? I’m approaching my 5th year of marriage and some would say I’m new to the game!
Leave a comment and let us know what you think!
Here’s the link to Tia Mowry’s interview: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ0SS-NQP5U
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